


destiny struggles to reassert the pattern that was meant to be

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Episode Fix-it, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuart and Raj review their lives, apart and together, and come to a conclusion. Spoilers through the end of "The Hesitation Ramification".</p>
            </blockquote>





	destiny struggles to reassert the pattern that was meant to be

**Author's Note:**

> The Big Bang Theory characters belong to a vengeful deity.
> 
> Unbetaed. I ran it through EditMinion, but other than that I am an impatient little shit who just wanted to get this out there. Title nicked from Dean Koontz.
> 
> This one goes out to the Tumblr Sturaj Crew, but especially dracoaries for her Project Sturaj gifsets, which I used to refresh my canon memory.
> 
> * * *

“Oh my God, I am so _sick_ of this!”

Stuart’s startled more by the sudden yelling than by Raj’s actual words; a moment ago the only sound was their footsteps echoing around the empty mall car park.

“Jeez, man—”

Raj flops onto the hood of his car and then slams his fist down against it before staring into space, nursing his hand disconsolately. Stuart slouches beside him, because really, he knows exactly what Raj is talking about.

“I really thought things could have worked out with Lucy.” Raj is still staring into space.

“I wish I’d been able to speak to Alice. I think I caught your selective mutism.”

“That near-miss with Penny—”

“Comic-Con hook-ups aren’t a substitute for a _real_ relationship—”

“People assuming I was dating Howard—”

“Howard and Bernadette assuming you’re dating _me_.”

They look at each other for a moment, and then Raj bursts out laughing. “Dude, it’s like there’s some higher power conspiring against us.”

Stuart rolls his eyes heavenward. “Yeah, we must have really pissed some deity off.”

Raj groans. “Why can’t we just catch a _break_?”

“I guess we still have each other,” Stuart says. “There’s always sadtinis and _Star Trek_. Plus we never have trouble talking together.”

Raj snickers. “It was pretty cool having you living with me. I wish you hadn’t moved out.”

“So do I. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with my place, it’s convenient for work, but I miss the company.”

“It never really made sense to me.” Raj rubs his hand absently; Stuart can see his knuckles are grazed. “Having your own space is cool and all, but I’m sure the bills and rent worked out a lot better with both of us.”

Stuart shrugs, looks down at the cracked concrete between his battered sneakers. “I don’t know. Maybe it was the same asshole deity trying to leech away even our basic friendship, let alone anything else.”

“It’s weird...” Raj’s voice trails off for a moment. Stuart looks at him but he’s staring off into the distance again. “Up until, I don’t know, maybe Halloween, everything was—”

“Was what?”

“Pushing us together,” Raj finishes, and without looking he slides his hand across the hood of the car, his fingers bumping against Stuart’s thigh. Stuart hesitates and then puts his own hand over Raj’s, lacing his fingers between his friend’s.

“Like the sadtinis. And you asking me out that night.”

“I did _not_ ask you out.”

“You kind of did, actually.”

“I guess.”

“Asking me to move in with you. Your _constant_ comments about, you know, really thinly veiled gay metaphors.” Stuart can’t help but roll his eyes just thinking about it. Rods and filling holes and all of that, oh my.

“I have trouble adapting—”

“Oh, bullshit, you’ve lived in the States for like ten years now. I refuse to believe you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“All right, so what if I _do_. You’re the one who kept telling me to check myself.”

“ _You’re_ the one who said if I were a girl you’d pile-drive me into oblivion! You weren’t exactly being subtle that time!”

Raj pulls his hand away so he can cover his face with both of them. “Oh my God,” he says again. “My subconscious is _broken_.”

“Yeah, you know, I don’t think it is. I think it’s been telling you something for a long time, and maybe you just haven’t wanted to listen.”

Raj spreads his fingers, one eye peeking through the gap at Stuart. “You think we...”

Stuart shrugs. “I think it wouldn’t kill you to at least seriously think about why you say the things you say and why you do the things you do.”

“I guess I could try.”

“Just don’t take too long about it.”

“...what?”

“Well.” Stuart takes Raj’s wrist, peeling one hand away from his face, then the other. “You’re the one who said everything’s been pushing us together.”

“So?”

“So maybe I’m open to listening to what the universe is trying to tell us about that.”

“That’s crazy. You really think—”

“It makes as much sense as some vengeful deity setting out to fuck up all our relationships with women to make sure we wind up commiserating with each other at the end of the day.”

“We still have each other,” Raj says, echoing Stuart’s words from before.

“I could do worse. _You_ probably couldn’t, but—”

The reason that Stuart doesn’t get to finish that sentence is that Raj’s mouth is on his. Bruising, clumsy, his teeth clashing against Stuart’s, far too sloppy... but _hot_.

“I hate it when you’re self-deprecating,” Raj says, his breathing rapid, his pupils dilated.

“I hate it when you pretend you don’t know you’re making incessant dick jokes.” Stuart threads one hand into Raj’s hair.

“I hate that you’re not living with me.”

“I hate it too.”

Their second kiss is a lot slower and much more dignified. Eyes closed. Lips moving softly together. Tongues sliding against each other. Raj cups Stuart’s cheek with one hand and Stuart sighs into his mouth.

Raj takes Stuart’s hand again, playing with his fingers. “I love how your hands look when you’re drawing. I miss being able to watch you draw.”

“I love the way you laugh when you read something funny online.”

“I love that you don’t take any crap from Sheldon.”

“ _I_ love that I don’t take any crap from Sheldon,” Stuart agrees, feeling a little giddy.

“Move back in with me.”

“Aren’t we doing this all in the wrong order?”

“I’m sure the big bad deity running our lives will tell us if we are,” Raj says, and pulls him close again.


End file.
